Relations in Relationships

Yesterdays post was all about finding the right horse. Today I want to talk about how finding the right horse has helped me navigate through other relationships. The ones that actually talk, yes I’m talking about relationships we have with other people.

I was always the kid that didn’t have a huge group of friends. I always had my one or two good friends and that was good for me. It was difficult for me to fit in at my high school, especially since there wasn’t a whole lot of kids that loved horses. I was not the quiet kid. No, not at all. I didn’t let the fact that a lot of people didn’t understand my love for horses impact how I felt about my horses. I think that this was important because if you let the people around you control your mind then you lose yourself to the world.

I remember when my first horse passed away I didn’t really know what to feel. My emotions were numb and I felt like if I just got back to my normal routine it would’ve been like it never happened, so I made the decision to go back to school and finish the rest of the day. When I got back no one could understand why I was so upset. Everyone just kept telling me “he was just a horse.” Even my best friend at the time didn’t fully understand and it made it hard. I think it made it harder to process my grief fully, just because these people that I’ve created this relationship with didn’t understand and didn’t try to understand.

To say the least I struggled in high school to create the right relationships. I guess I am contradicting what my whole platform is for this blog by telling you all I can pick a horse out, but I can’t pick the people. When I graduated high school I made a pact with myself to only talk to the people that I want to talk to. I have a choice now of who I want to see and when. I began to make a list in my mind like I did when I was looking for a horse. At the top of my list was creating a relationship with other people that wasn’t one-sided. When you work with your horse it may seem like a one-sided relationship since they can’t talk back, but it’s so much more than that. It’s you communicating with them and them telling you how they’re interpreting it. I wanted a friendship like this. In high school a lot of my friends weren’t very good listeners. I listened, but when I had a problem they were rarely there. It wasn’t until my senior year at prom that I discovered someone that listens to me like I listen to them. I also wanted relationships with people that I could relate to and they could relate to me. Unfortunately I went to a really sucky high school that didn’t give me an opportunity to actually be who I was and meet people that I could talk to about the stuff I enjoy and have them actually understand it.

Now I’m going to a university where I feel like I actually belong and fit in. I know I can go to Anthony Hall, sit down, and more than likely, the person I’m talking to doesn’t give me a funny look when I start talking about the latest trend in the agriculture industry. After I decided what I wanted I feel like I truly have made some great friends here at MSU and now I feel more confident in creating relationships with people because I know I’m not going to cheat myself with bad relationships. I had a really terrible high school experience and I wish I would have realized I have control of my friendships before I graduated, but unfortunately I didn’t. I hope you all can learn from my experiences and find the best relationships you can find. Healthy relationships are important to surround yourself with.

With love,

The Modern Equestrian

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